


Will the human prospit dreamer please stand up?

by indigo_tier (imagination_tier)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Probably very OOC, alternative universe, like very, the author may regret some things, this is a mess, watch as this spirals out of control, what is a coherent plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-08-25 03:17:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16653262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imagination_tier/pseuds/indigo_tier
Summary: Alternatively titled Prospit Cherub Gang AU. .Mostly just snips and snaps as I dip a toe into writing Homestuck waters





	1. Chapter 1

A young woman sits in front of her computer, typing away at one of her dear internet friends. It's a calm day, slow moving as usual.

**== > be Jade.**

You are now Jade, and you have been quite busy with your friends for a while now!

You brush your hair out of your eyes and slightly straighten out your round glasses, reading the familiar red text of your male friend, Dave. He started talking about a half hour ago and has been on quite a roll since then.

**== > Jade: cease pestering Dave. It's John's turn on the computer.**

You do no such thing. You're in the middle of a very important discussion that can not be allowed to stagnate.

TG: so yeah after the barbeque sauce pit got brought out thats when i quite suddenly noticed the surreality of the whole fucking thing and was promptly booted out of the sleeping realm

TG: and then i told you cuz im not feeling up for TTs bullshit babbling about phallic symbolism right now and and its your turn to be on

So very important.

GG: oh wow :0!

GG: i think rose mAy be right, thAt sort of dreAm is obviously your subconscious trying very hArd to tell you something!

TG: omg addie i trusted you how could you betray me so, joining the league of snarky broads in my moment of need

You giggle softly to yourself, thoroughly entertained by the surreal paths the conversation has taken since starting. Your friend Dave is such a strange guy, but you love (what a neat human word!) him so. Sometimes you wished that you could be closer to him and your other friend Rose, even if you are well aware that that's not going to happen for a good while. 

But still, you enjoy your time spent chattering with them very much. The lack of hoops to jump through when you want to do so is definitely a plus.

TG: wait hold up

GG: hmm?

TG: isnt Jays turn on the shared computer? Its past six thirty already thats when you switch

Oh dammit, he noticed. You really had hoped he wouldn't bring it up.

GG: oh, thAt! he's still asleep, And I don't wAnt to wAke him up just yet. he's been kinda tired lately :/.

TG: oh ok just wondering you two are usually really fucking anal about that

TG: not that i understand any of it of course id literally die if i had to share a fucking computer with my bro

TG: it's reAlly not so bAd! Sure it cAn be a little annoying sometimes, but there's no other computer in the house so we kindA hAve to suck it up.

The argument has lasted well past six months before the switching off impasse was reached. It was a long hard battle, filled with passive aggressive sticky notes plastered on everything, near constant bickering over who got "the good hours", and the closest thing to a full out screaming match two people sharing a body could get.

TG: your life is a fucking tragedy addie, they could make a lifetime movie about it

TG: itll win no awards but get a cult following eternally bemoaning the fact and crying into their frosted flakes while reminiscing about their first time seeing you and your bro have to switch about cause its his turn on the computer and he needs to illegally watch ghostbusters again

GG: i should probAbly wAke him up :/. at this point I'm just abusing the fact that he's asleep. goodbye dAve!

TG: oh k see you when youre on again harlbert

\-- geneticGeothermal [GG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 19:48 --

**== > Jade: inspect room.**

You look around the oh so familiar room that you and your brother call your own.

It's quite spartan, consisting mainly of the basics such as a bed and closet and a few surviving luxury items you and your brother have managed to scrape together over the years, mainly the pile of soft fabrics and the half full bookshelf with the few surviving physical books you've scrounged up. You've read each and every single one of them, from the fantasy tales to the scientific logs. It's all so fascinating, the remains and proof that there was something before you, once.

You wish that you could see a real plant one day, the faded pictures in the books and the visions of Prospit are just so intangible.

Your stomach grumbles some, interrupting your musings to instead contemplate if you should get out and eat or leave it for John to deal with.

**== > Jade: go outside.**

While looking out at a sea of sand; surrounded by the last stubborn remains of humanity's touch on this planet, sounds fun, you have already stalled far too long. You really need to get to bed and let your brother do his things.

You log out of your pesterchum account and get up, moving to put away your things. Mainly, the old labcoat you've taken for yourself, your round spectacles, and your wig. You are well aware that your human friends don't know about you and John being aliens from the far away future, but the wig especially helps you feel a little better about lying to them about so many important things. Like you really are Addie Harlbert, living on a remote island with just your brother Jay and your dog.

You're not a human of course, but you can still pretend.

**== > Jade: go to sleep.**

 Having stalled a lot already, you put away your things and move across the room. You lie down on the bed, hands folded on your stomach, and let sleep creep up on you.

. . .

**== > John: wake up.**

You are currently not able to do so, seeing as your sister is still awake and probably chatting with one of your friends. You don't really begrudge her it, seeing as how you've done the same on the occasion, but you really do hope that she'll be done soon.  

The argument starting all over again is something that you prefer to avoid, as it never ends pretty.

With a sigh, you flop backwards onto your bed; sinking into the plush material. Though there's not much to do on Prospit when the eclipse isn't happening unless you're up for exploring some (which, considering the time, you are not) , you appreciate the elaborate furnishings very much. Millennia old fallout shelters don't exactly have the finer things in life.

**== > Careful where you flop! You'll make your sister fall off!**

You glance at the sleeping form of your sister, not having moved an inch from where you've tucked her in. You're quite certain that you don't need to worry about that.

You roll over to lie on your stomach before propping yourself on a hand and simply watch her, idly kicking your legs. Your sister's face (yours too if you want to be technical about it) is lax, dream self very unconscious as she's up and about on earth.

"Come on sis, don't make me have to get out the sticky notes again. Because I will, and you'll start messing with my things here on Prospit, and Dave and Rose are gonna have to deal with our bullshit seeping into conversation. Rose is probably going to try another memo therapy session and Dave's going to get really upset about hypothetically picking a side because under his cool guy persona he's a huge weenie boy that loves us. And it'll be like a month before we stop. So please don't let it come to that."

As usual, she doesn't reply to your rambling, doesn't so much as twitch a dark eyelash. You wonder, not for the first time, what she might sound like.

Suddenly, there's a soft tugging sensation at the back of your head, slowly but steadily becoming more prominent

**== > John: wake up.**

"Yeesh, you took your time. I'll spare you the sticky notes this time," you say out loud, not really caring that you won't be getting an answer. The tugging at the back of your head increases, and you lie down in preparation. From the corner of your eyes, you see your sister's fingers twitch.

Any minute now.

.

.

**== > John: open your eyes.**

You blink blearily at the familiar steel ceiling above you, the last remaining cobwebs of sleep fading fast. You stretch out and take in a deep breathe of stagnant air. You glance around you, inspecting your shared room for any abnormalities. Everything is in its usual place though, from the one computer pushed into a corner, to the spot where your sister's things (mainly her wig, glasses and folded up labcoat-dress) are put away when you're awake. Checking your face, you find your square glasses pushed onto your forehead, where Jade usually leaves them.

Your stomach grumbles insistently at you. You should've guessed that Jade wouldn't bother dealing with that so close to you waking up.

With a sigh you get out of bed, wandering out of the room and making your way to what you would generously call the kitchen. All food items have long since gone bad, so it's mainly where you prepare food away from your shared bedroom.

"Bec! C'here boy!" you call out into the old building.

For a few seconds, nothing but your own voice echoing back at you I'd heard.

After they pass however.

_*crackle*_

A truly gigantic hound is suddenly in front of you, sharp green electricity cracking and coursing across its white fur. Bec tilts his giant head before wuffing softly, tongue lolling past his muzzle.

You happily hug the large canine, giving him a good long pat on his furry back.

"Hi bec! How are you doing boy!? It's food time!"

Bec, being quite the intelligent dog, gets what your saying and nudged you onto his back. You climb on happily, and hold on tight as he warps you to a place where there's actually something edible for a growing cherub.

**== > John: pester friends.**

With not much else to do after eating and quite eager to, you log into your account to see who's awake.

\-- ghoulishTerror [GT] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 20:10\--

GT: hi rOse! addie finally let gO Of the cOmputer.

TT: Greetings to you as well Jay. I was curious as to why Dave was sulking about your apparent suspicious lack of online presence. He was quite convinced that you were avoiding him for some reason.

GT: really?? He's sO dramatic. I get On a bit later than usual and he's already overreacting, what a gigantic nerd.

It's a strange existence you and your sister share, but at the end of the day your quite, happy (such a neat human term!)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do cherubs even figure out that they've got a sib in their head anyway? Hell how do they get named??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got new tablet over the weekend, and lemm tell ya hunting down where I needed to log into my accounts again and dealing with a super fucking finicky keyboard is annoying :/

**== > be the cherub girl.**

Oi, there's three cherub girls to choose from in this fine spread of alien pov. You're going to have to be a little more specific about which one you're talking about.

**== > be the sharply dressed cherub girl with an odd coloration.**

You are incapable of doing so, seeing as this particular cherub girl is currently busy with something very important. You can be her in the past though, if that's cool.

**== > well fine.**

**= > be the sharply dressed cherub girl with an odd coloration some years in the past.**

You are now the cherub with an odd coloration, though the "girl" and "sharply dressed" parts of your description are currently not a thing. You are after all quite young for a cherub, you haven't even got a name yet.

But that can wait, seeing as you are hot on the trail of a very peculiar mystery in need of sleuthing.

**== > explain the mystery.**

Quite gladly!

For the past few days, you have observed that there are, peculiarities occuring throughout the fallout shelter you call your home.

Furniture moving, objects being displaced, food disappearing without a trace, those sort of things.

At first you believed that your memory simply wasn't as good as you thought it was and we're imagining things, but that answer felt wrong. So you investigated, hunting for clues and hints as to what may be happening. You wrote down where objects were last seen before suddenly being somewhere else, drew chalk lines to determine if the furniture was actually moving from its spot, anything that could be used to puzzle together what was happening.

The investigation went on for days, analysing anything and everything that could give you more answers about this strange phenomenon happening in your home.

Your findings proved your gut feeling correct, things were definitely moving in ways that were more than you idly picking something up and dropping it wherever.

Most damming was that you occasionally woke up in places that are not your bed, with one especially memorable incident where you suddenly jolted awake at the bottom of a staircase far away from your usual space; bleeding from the back of your head.

You have hypothesized that there is either another being around that's messing with you, or you have started to sleepwalk. You have good reason to believe it's the latter; as you are quite certain that you are the only living thing on this dying planet, but don't rule out the former just in case. Such a person would have to be quite sneaky to have avoided you for this long in an empty building.

**== > Confront the bastard!**

Well you would, but seeing as these things always happen when you're asleep and the cameras have been dead for probably decades now, you don't exactly have any way of staking out the location to catch the culprit, wether it be your sleepwalking self or some invader. But should this hypothetical crook invading your home be real, you have a foolproof, guaranteed to work 100% idea to deal with the scoundrel, whoever they may be!

With your favorite light blue pen (it's the same shade as your eyes and cheek swirls!) you get to work, writing a strongly worded letter to the culprit.

It's foolproof, since if you're just sleepwalking there'll be no response, but if it's another being they'd be unable to resist doing something in relation to getting called out!

You are a genius and it's a shame you don't have anyone to tell so.

With your plan formulated, you start to write. It must be concise but confrontational so you'll get the reaction you need.

_De ~~e~~ ar mysterious purson messing with my stuff_

_~~K~~  Could you please not do that, some of it is impossible to replace if broken_

_Much obliged, blue cherub_

Perfect.

With a flourish you sign it with a swirl (you should probably think about names at some point, that would make this much more professional) and place it in the center of the room, where it would most certainly be found, should there be someone to find it. Now you have this dastardly scoundrel cornered!

**== > go to sleep. **

You probably should. You already know that the strange figure doesn't show up if your awake from the one time you stayed up for days to try and catch them, and wasting your energy when all there's to do is wait sounds stupid, even to a rather young cherub.

With a pleased sigh you curl up under the pile of blankets you've managed to scavenge over the short years you've lived here.

**== > wake up! You've got a case to solve!**

As usual, you awake in the general location of your bed. This time however, you notice something off almost immediately.

Your letter was on your chest, written side up.

You picked it up, eager to inspect it for any clues, when you notice something on the back of the piece of paper that utterly stunned you. Writing.

But definitely not your own. Not the same color or handwriting. Looks like you've narrowed down your suspects to an unfamiliar outsider that is on the planet with you.

The answer doesn't fill you with as much pride as you thought it would, if anything you're slowly but steadily starting to panic, nervous energy buzzing uncomfortably under your skin. Not happening though, you think slightly as you vigorously shake your skull as if you'll be able to get rid of the buzzing.

_dear other person_

_Hi! Are you the mysterious force that puts things back where they belong? I always thought that the shelter was haunted by spirits! I'm really sorry about the stuff I've broken, I thought I'd would just be replaced by the spirits. I didn't mean to mess with your things during my spelunking. Sorry!_

_Green cherub~_

You blink owlishly at the text, green ink standing out greatly on the off white paper, and then at the identical but flipped swirl it was signed with. Try as you may, your mind only draws a blank.

This. 

Was going to require a lot more time than you initially thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working from an angle where cherub learning is part genetic memories and part figuring stuff out for themselves. Piecing together the whole "two people sharing a body" helps set up their insanely competitive nature as well as lays the foundation for the hatred that will fuel predomination.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't even figure out colored text what am I doing here.


End file.
